How To Romanticize Your Life As A Homemaker

Today I want to talk about how to romanticize your life as a homemaker and why it’s not a bad thing to do so. In fact, I think it’s a powerful tool for motivation and joy. Let’s dive in.

If you’re honest with yourself, if you’re not romanticizing your life, you’re probably romanticizing someone else’s.

Think about it. If you’re not finding beauty and joy in your current situation, you probably think you’d find it in the life you wish you had. Say you’re a mother and homemaker like me. You might be tempted to think that having a high-powered career would be more exciting.

If you have a job outside the home, maybe you wish you could be a homemaker. Perhaps baking bread all day and wearing cross-back aprons over your Natural Life skirts. Not that I’ve thought about that prospect or anything…

What Does It Mean To ‘Romanticize’ Your Life?

Romanticizing is the act of seeing something in an idealized way. To romanticize your life, you choose to see beauty in the mundane, practice gratitude, and perform each task with intentionality. Think of it as “being the main character” in your story; imagine how you would frame and tell that story if you were to chronicle your life.

When we talk about romanticizing things now, we’re talking about an idea that started as far back as the middle ages, when bards would tell or sing ‘romances’, epic accounts of knights and their brave deeds for example. And yes they would typically involve some element of what we typically think of as “romance”, like saving a fair maiden. But the whole tale was the romance, not just lovey-dovey part. Later on in the mid-1800’s, as a reaction to the Enlightenment, we saw emerge what we now call the Romantic Period in literature, art and music.

In this period, people were a little fed up with pragmatism and materialism and sought to bring back the romance they saw in the work of Medieval artists and craftsmen.

And so that’s pretty much what we’re doing here as moderns, with our own lives; choosing to see the beauty, taking notice of the best, cultivating it and just being aware of it in the moment.

It’s funny to me that romanticizing your life is suddenly this trendy thing. I think in a lot of ways it’s something I’ve always done, although I didn’t have a name for it.

And here’s the thing: If you’re not already doing this, you just might be doing the opposite- noticing the flaws, the things you wish were different, comparing your life to others’, and missing out on what’s right in front of you.

Romanticizing Your Life… As Someone Else’s

When I was new to mothering and homemaking, I was subconsciously of the mindset that I had it rough. Looking back, I’d been conditioned by my culture to believe homemaking was “beneath” me, or at the very least, unfulfilling.

I am so thankful for the sanctifying work of motherhood now. There are many things I wish I could go back and tell myself.

Enjoy the little years. Don’t pressure them to “meet their potential” just yet. You’re doing a good job.

Thank the Lord I’m learning these lessons again and again and getting just a little better each day. It didn’t come easily though, and I think that’s just part of it.

When I imagine a “working woman”, I often think of a corporate setting. Maybe it’s thanks to movies and TV shows. I just know that when I was in high school and imagining careers for myself, chic blazers, designer purses, heels and hailing taxis always came to mind. Which is hysterical to me and anyone who knows me. I’m a homebody! I was made to be a stay-at-home mom. I don’t own a single blazer and I’ve never hailed a taxi in my life.

I’m laughing to myself right now, but that’s honestly the life I romanticized before! I can’t help but think of Angelica’s mom from Rugrats, always wearing a power-suit and talking to the invisible “Jonathan” on her cell phone. Maybe that show is where it all started for me… XD Back to the point!

Romanticize *YOUR* Life

What would someone think of your life from the outside looking in?

What would your highlight reel look like? As you think back on your day, or week, what images come to mind?

These are some of the questions you could ask to shake yourself out of your current mindset and start looking at your own life for the gift that it is.

The power of romanticizing your life hit me one evening while (what else) scrolling Instagram.

There was a particular account I always enjoyed seeing content from, and I still follow this sweet lady today! I don’t think there is anything phony about her or her content at all. But that evening, I’m sitting on my couch at the end of a long day, distracting myself when I could’ve been prepping for the homeschool week ahead, and I see her Sunday homeschool planning post that she does every week.

A beautiful layout of classic books, a planner, a pen.

I immediately feel the guilt and the envy. My brain starts racing to all the things we didn’t get to, what we need to do better, what changes to our curriculum we need to make.

Then something stops me. Looking at that picture, I thought of what would go in my Sunday homeschool planning post, if I made one. I thought of the beautiful moments we’d had the previous week. The lovely books I’d post on that little square, the ones I’d chosen so carefully and budgeted for and ordered weeks in advance through inter-library loan.

And I suddenly felt at ease. It’s not that I was doing a poor job, or that this fellow homeschool mom was doing so much better. We were just different. I needed to show myself and our homeschool the same respect I so readily give to strangers on the internet.

Is It Healthy to Romanticize Your Life?

I believe so. Romanticizing your life starts with gratitude for the life you have. It’s a lot like counting your blessings, or living intentionally.

It’s reminding yourself that someone else would love to have what you have, or do what you get to do.

If you’re in a particularly hard season, I totally get it. More than you know.

I won’t go into it today, maybe it’s a story for another time, but I’ve had my share of hard seasons. I’ve struggled with depression, loneliness, anger and self-loathing. I moved several hours away from literally everyone I knew excepting my husband and children (two and a half, and five months at the time). I felt the anguish of wrestling with doubt while actively serving in ministry, and wondering what would happen if the very foundation of my life came crashing down. I’ve come through it all better and stronger, but I say all that to remind you that everyone has their own battles, and yet everyone has things to be thankful for.

So write a list. Jot down a few things about your life that you are grateful for. It never fails to shift your focus from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset, and it always lifts my mood, even if just a little.

Make Your Own Highlight Reel

You don’t have to share it with anyone, but I encourage to take a picture that you consider “Instagram worthy” of something that represents your life.

If you’re a homeschool mom, maybe it is your Sunday planning session, or book stack. I could give so many examples: your meal plan, your sourdough loaf, your sparkling clean kitchen, the mantle with the carefully chosen art piece. Maybe it’s your knitting project, handmade soap, basketful of gathered eggs, or a flower arrangement.

Did you braid your daughter’s hair in a special way? Treasure up any special moments from your weekly nature walk? Maybe you finally painted that book case.

Whether you actually take a photograph or not (although I really encourage you to), at the very least imagine it. Picture the colors, feel the emotions, enjoy it for a moment. Celebrate your small wins and remember a time when you only wished you could have what you do now.

Romanticize Your Life in the Moment

I think it’s easier to look back and romanticize. But if we look back too far, that’s when we veer into the territory of romanticizing a life that isn’t your own, because that’s not you anymore!

Do you think that has anything to do with the dreaded mid-life crisis? It’s become a trope in entertainment for the 45-year old dad to reminisce about his glory days as the high school quarterback, or for the mid-aged mom to try and fit into her cheer uniform.

No one *actually* peaks in high school, guys. If you think you did, you’re probably remembering it wrong.

Now that you’ve captured a little romanticized snapshot of your (very recent) life in hindsight, you just have to practice doing it on the fly. And this is actually pretty fun.

I learned a little trick from a funny children’s book called Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, which I highly recommend as a fun way to introduce your children to habit training. I read it when I was a little girl and it’s stuck with me all this time.

In the book, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle is called in to help with cases of naughty children. Think “Nanny 911” on TLC but with a Victorian flavor. In the chapter in question, a little girl hates doing her chores. She thinks they’re boring and awful and never does them cheerfully.

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle’s solution is to teach the little girl to have fun with her chores. She does this by jumping into an imaginary game in which an evil queen is going to inspect the dishes after they’re washed, and there will horrible consequences if they aren’t perfect. In the end, Mrs. P.W. dresses as the evil queen and inspects the bed the little girl had just made. The evil queen is furious to find the bed wrinkle-free and in perfect order. And the little girl is cured of her hatred of chores.

The Point Of This Weird Side Track

Reading this as a little girl, it taught me the power of imagination. We don’t need to delude ourselves or puff ourselves up to romanticize life, because beauty and joy can be found in any life. But we don’t have to take everything so seriously either! Being a mom is fun. Taking care of a home and making it warm and welcoming is fun. Dressing up like an evil queen and making your kids do the dishes is fun! Ok maybe not that. Or maybe so, whatever floats your boat 😉

I’m being a little facetious here but I hope you’re tracking with me.

It’s like what I talk about in my “About Me” page. How many of us dreamed of being mothers and homemakers when we were girls? ‘House’ was the only game I was interested in. I used to beg my mom to let me do dishes. My sister asked for a Dirt Devil and a Salad Shooter for Christmas when she was 6. I would’ve killed to have that assignment where you have to take care of a lifelike doll for a week in home-ec.

And yet when I became a mother and had my own house to run, a lot of that enthusiasm vanished.

I totally get why, I swear I’m not delusional. And I don’t exactly savor doing dishes now. But if I could go back and tell that very young mother anything, I’d tell her to think back to that little girl who thought ironing clothes sounded like the most grown-up, the most fun thing ever.

Putting It Into Practice

How can we not let this be one of those things we found sort of interesting on the internet, but then immediately forget?

One way is to physically do something about it. I mentioned above taking a photo and writing a list. I’ll encourage you once more to do both of those, because physically doing something affects our brains in a deeper way than merely thinking about it.

And doing them multiple times makes neural pathways that can lead to real change. So why not make it a daily or weekly habit?

We all know we should gratitude journal more, and maybe you’ll discover a love for photography! It doesn’t have to be complicated and again, you don’t have to share it with anyone. But I won’t belabor the point.

Another practical way to romanticize your life is through your Mother Culture practice (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, read this, this and/or this). Read books about homemaking (I need to write a post about this and include a book list…), study Bible passages about marriage, serving, parenting, and stewardship. Write out inspiring quotes, and use your “Remember” time to dwell on those mental snapshots, funny things your kids said, and satisfying tasks you completed that day.

And speaking of tasks, let’s get really practical here:

Romantic Tasks?

Housework isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “romantic” or “romanticized”.

Scrubbing the toilet or being elbow deep in dishwater might be among the least romantic things on earth.

But I’ll bet you have a few tasks that you actually don’t mind. Some that are actually kind of fun in a way. And then there are those that make you feel like a such a legit housewife.

Like for me, it’s baking bread, putting all the clothes away without them sitting in the drier for a day, and stripping towels.

Have you ever stripped towels? Or any other laundry? You fill up your bathtub with very hot water and sprinkle in borax and washing soda. Then you throw in your laundry and let it sit all day. The fun part is going in and poking and stirring it with a broom handle until you feel like a witch at a cauldron, and watching the water turn disgusting brown. (That means it’s working.)

It’s the kind of job you imagine Ma Ingalls would do in a wooden washtub, the kind I’d have begged my mom to let me help with.

What would yours be? Gathering eggs, sewing doll clothes, ironing, making a pot roast, beating rugs, hanging clothes out on the line, mopping until the floor shines, swapping out seasonal clothing, descaling the showerhead?

Whatever it is, and I know you have some, lean into those. Pick one to do this week and let it motivate you. There’s something about a job well done, even if the task is difficult or you don’t really feel like doing it, that boosts your confidence and brings satisfaction.

Find Satisfaction In The “Unromantic” Tasks

We homemakers have our work cut out for us sometimes, as far as satisfying tasks go. A lot of the time our work is “invisible”, or at least it feels that way. And when we do accomplish something we’re proud of or someone else compliments us on, how quickly do we move on to the next one?

Even with those less romantic tasks, not only can we find satisfaction in doing them well, we should also allow ourselves moments to reflect and feel that satisfaction. The work piles up again all too quickly, so enjoy it while you can.

The next time you’re on one of those less desirable tasks, remind yourself that you’re doing a good job and how great you’ll feel once it’s done.

I used to complain to my husband that with other types of jobs people get bonuses, awards, promotions and the like. I had gone from being an A-student, teacher’s-pet type to staying at home with just my little baby to give me a progress report. In a way I missed working for a grade and the feeling that it brought.

If you find yourself wishing for a little recognition or for someone to tell you what a great job you’re doing (and as an aside, hopefully you have a loving supportive husband that does!), remember that the Lord sees what’s done in secret.

And in addition to that, it’s ok to admire a scrubbed-clean shower or a freshly made bed, have a cup of coffee and give yourself a little pat on the back.

So tell me, have you heard of this concept of romanticizing your life? What “romantic” homemaking tasks would you add to the list? What’s one way you could use this concept to help you enjoy your life and those unromantic tasks a little bit more?

Let me know, and come join me on Instagram and Pinterest! Thanks so much for reading.

Happy homemaking!

-Tara